How Parents Standards and Expectations Are Affecting Their Children


English teacher April Beene pointed out that parents’ different expectations for girls and boys are not always intentional.

Throughout many generations, mothers and fathers from all around the world have had different hopes and standards for their sons and daughters.

Many people have had different experiences and seen different things throughout their life that relate back to these expectations put on one another since they were younger.

“I think that even the most well-intentioned parents do have different expectations of daughters vs. sons. I was a women’s studies minor, probably called gender studies today, and I remember reading this study that found that people even held infant boys and girls differently. They were unconsciously rougher with the male infants. So, I imagine that a lot of expectations for students are gendered without parents realizing it,” April Beene said.

Sophomore Joel Herrera believes that parents should have the same expectations for both their male and female children.

Take many parents that have been raised in different types of households and cultures. It is a lot different from other parents’ views on this topic. Take Gabriella Moore for example. Many years ago she also attended LHS and shared her opinions on this topic.

“Yes, as I was growing up I would continuously be reminded that I shouldn’t be doing certain things that were not considered ladylike. Something as simple as playing sports was seen as something not as acceptable for females. Females were expected to be at home learning to cook, clean, and upkeep a home,” Moore said.

Moore also says expectations have changed over the years and in cultures as those second and third generations adapt to American culture.

Many other people had a similar response when asking this question.

“I do believe that women and men have different expectations in different cultures. And I believe that this is just due to old rules made by men just to put women in their ‘place,’” sophomore Joel Herrera said.

Many parents’ standards vary from their sons to daughters. Today’s society is also a little different from years past. They have different standards for their sons and daughters to where it’s believed that they hold their daughters to higher expectations favoring their sons.

“I feel like the majority of parents hold their daughters to such high standards. I have some family members that have always tried to tell me that I need to learn how to be the ‘perfect housewife,’ and as for boys, I feel like it’s easier just because girls, in general, have always been put down and discouraged from doing things outside of the house, and that they shouldn’t have a voice,” freshman Lauren Saldivar said.

When asking these types of questions many other things popped up. The biggest question that was being asked was whether parents treated their children differently from their siblings.

“I was always compared to my sister. She was quiet, reserved, and very submissive. I questioned everything and wanted to understand what made me different from the privileges my brother had. My strong will and independence has made me who I am today. I at times find myself doing the same with my daughter, but I’m slowly evolving as a parent and as a person,” Moore said.

Expressing your emotions is a normal thing, and with this topic, it’s a very normal thing for people to get angry or somewhat upset just by thinking about their past or background.

“I feel like every kid/teen feels like they’re being compared to their siblings or that their parents see them in a different way whether it be a sibling or not. And this honestly makes me kind of angry. Even the thought of someone putting down a member of my family just because of their gender makes my real question about the role society has put on all of us; a huge problem that needs to be addressed,” Herrera said.

As time progresses, so will people and the different ways that they think and expect from their children. Most of the old expectations that parents have are changing.

Despite most people tending to pass down what they grew up with down to their own families, we can only hope that people’s ways change as time goes by.